I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
