Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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