"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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