She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
