by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Is Oprah even human
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
