She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
