Where did you get a picture of my penis
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
