and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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