she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
