gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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