there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I am mentally ready for anal.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
