For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
