Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
