This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize