this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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