This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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