just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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