Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
