You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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