you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
where am i from again
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
