i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
