Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
