Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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