So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize