There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Randomize
