At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize