I'm gonna have a badass scar
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
