i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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