batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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