oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
