Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
