ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
