Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
he's gonorrhea incarnate
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize
