At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
