You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
