Your mouth is God's brothel.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
