Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize