That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
