I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Is Oprah even human
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