I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
