Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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