Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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