I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
