At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
