Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
