I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
