I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
If I die, sorry about rent.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
