He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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