Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
