I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
