All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize