I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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