You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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