"it" just moved
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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