I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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