I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
