i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
