We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
wrigley field is MILF paradise
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
my nose is crying tears of wow.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
