I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
