Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
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