Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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