I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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