marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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