i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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