How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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